Ode To Drapolene

(with apologies to R. Burns)

Oh Drapolene! Oh Drapolene!
Great Chieftain o' the Buttock cream,
Apply to thighs when red and raw,
And ye'll need to chafe nae more.


Away with pain and consternation,
'Tis the finest embrocation,
Rub it here and rub it there,
Even when folks stop and stare.


Up hill, down dale and thrae the glens,
Banish soreness from yer rear ends,
Land's End, Shap and Drumnadrochit,
Keep this potion in yer pocket.


When saddles rub wi' irritation,
Reach for the supreme application,
Be-ye Angus, Flora, Bruce or John,
Soothe yer inflamed sit-up-on.


Used with chamois, false or real,
The sense of tingling does appeal,
The highest climbs I now can manage,
Wi' narrae a twinge in ma undercarriage.


Oh Drapolene! Oh Drapolene!
The answer to a cyclist's dream!

Conceived and written by the members of Trans Pennine Cycling Club during their End-To-End tour of 2003,

mostly by S Cohen and G McCulloch.